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Would You Mind?

“Would you mind opening the door?” — asks a walking box

”Yeah. I mean, no… Yes, I will open the door and no, I don’t mind doing it” — I stammer back an a panic as the box waddles past — indifferent to my struggle

I hate negative confirmation questions I feel like it creates two jobs:

  1. Open the door
  2. Solve this verbal riddle

Who’s happy with this? I’m not The walking box doesn’t seem bothered

I can’t deal So I say obnoxious shit like “could I trouble you to hold the door?” — which feels like an assault of unnecessary politeness But folks know how to answer concisely And I like that

💬 chan

What’s something you do that’s shrouded in awkward intentionality?