Would You Mind?
"Would you mind opening the door?" — asks a walking box
"Yeah. I mean, no... Yes, I will open the door and no, I don't mind doing it" — I stammer back an a panic as the box waddles past — indifferent to my struggle
I hate negative confirmation questions
I feel like it creates two jobs:
- Open the door
- Solve this verbal riddle
Who's happy with this?
The walking box doesn't seem bothered
I can't deal
So I say obnoxious shit like "could I trouble you to hold the door?" — which feels like an assault of unnecessary politeness
But folks know how to answer concisely
And I like that
What's something you do that's shrouded in awkward intentionality?