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Kill the Old You

June 05, 2019

I woke up on the first night of vacation with perfect clarity on two things.

First, our server didn't totally mess up the bill.
She just split the darks and lights when dividing the tab — Asians on one and whites on the other.

Mystery solved.

Second, this has been my best year yet.

Last year I gave a talk titled Hot Garbage: Clean Code is Dead.
On the surface it's about the destructive nature of labeling code “clean” or “ugly”.

Under the surface the talk is about me becoming an asshole by spending time with people in tech.
Being an asshole was something I learned by osmosis — reading forums and working on development teams.
The leader is just the most impetuous asshole in a room, right?

if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull — W.C. Fields

There was no part of me that liked the new me.
So I stopped.
I killed the bad program.
I stopped holding strong opinions. I stopped arguing.
I stopped chasing "clean".
And my life got better... Slowly.

Your sins have long legs.
They don't stop because you do.
They run a muck for a bit,
taunting and testing the new you.
It'll take a while to fully develop the new you.
It'll take even longer for others to trust the new you.

Don't be discouraged.
Your effort is worth it.
Renewing and reinventing yourself always is.

As one who's 18 months into the process, I want you to know that it gets easier.
Before you know it,
The new you will be the old you.

👼 chantastic