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I'm a Toys R Us kid

September 18, 2019

The guy in front of me is closing the gap on 40. He's not heavy but he's definitely a dad — you know?

His not-quite-heavy-but-definitely-dad frame is breaking the spirit of what I hope is his child's Penny skateboard. It hasn't broken in half — yet — So, I assume he's never ridden it.

I laugh, Tune it out, And return to my podcast when

Crack! Thud. "Fuck"

I look back and definitely-dad's face is grinding against the concrete. $5000 of Apple products spilled from every pocket. And he's unleashing an inscrutable but impressive string of profanities.

The skateboard rolls slowly away from him and back toward me.

I'm laughing my ass off But I'm trying hard not to.

He collects his expensive accessories, limps toward me to collect his son's tiny skateboard — somehow it looks even smaller up close — and says: "Yeah. I'd definitely be laughing too."

He gets back on that microscopic board and rides away.

— The tween behind me on the street last Wednesday

P.S. How are you feeling your age this week?